


Limelight

by Caelys



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Gen, Heavy Angst, One Shot, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:14:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26288572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caelys/pseuds/Caelys
Summary: What do you do when you look into the mirror and you don’t see yourself any more?
Kudos: 3





	Limelight

_Who’s gonna save you when you crash down?_

_Who’s gonna save you when you crash?_

_Who’s gonna save you?_

_Who?_

Tommy Shelby walked out of the theater. Alone. Аround him were families. Young couples. Older couples. And he was walking out alone. Now he honestly regretted even coming, but when he saw the poster, something drew him in. And that something was Grace. For months she talked about how much she wanted to see that exact musical. She never lived to do it. Gone too early, now Tommy felt almost obliged to go and see it. In the loving memory of Grace.

Whatever he expected to see wasn’t that. Musicals are supposed to be upbeat and happy he was thinking, not like that… They aren’t supposed to make you question your life. Every decision you’ve made, every mistake. The people you loved, the ones you used, and the ones you sacrificed. 

The surprisingly cold summer wind made him button up his coat. He wasn’t supposed to feel this cold, both inside and out. His car wasn’t parked that far away, but it was far enough that he had to endure a couple of small talks with people he encountered on his way. The same conversation time and time again. _Hello. How are you? How is the young Charlie?_ Tommy started the engine. The low roaring sound filled the silence around him, but didn’t replace the hundreds of thoughts racing through his head. 

_Who’s gonna save you when you crash down?_

That damned song from the musical was still haunting him. Why wouldn’t it? Similar questions sometimes popped inside his head, but he was quick to dismiss them. This time was different. Now when that question was asked almost a dozen times in the span of two hours, it was like it was burned inside his brain. 

_Who’s gonna save you when you crash down?_

Who? He wasn’t even able to save Grace from that bullet, when she was standing a mere meter away. He lost her. He got rid of that cursed diamond after her death and yet his kid was taken hostage, when he was in the same fucking room. Tommy almost lost Charlie. The diamond was gone, and yet tragedies continued to strike his family. Was the diamond really cursed or was it him?

Tommy took off. Slowly driving through the empty streets. He could have chosen a more populated route to return home, but didn’t. That night wasn’t a typical night in which he needed human contact to feel alive. He didn’t need Lizzie, his family. He didn’t even need himself. 

The houses became fewer and fewer. He was almost out of Birmingham. Soon enough he was away from the well lit streets. 

_Who’s gonna save you when you crash down?_

He was coming home to a big, but empty mansion. Just him, Charlie and the maid. Less than a year ago, he got married at the same place that was now filled with ghosts. 

Some ghosts belonged to people he had lost - like Grace, but others belonged to people he had betrayed. On some particularly quiet nights, Tommy could have sworn that the shouts coming out of his office were real, not just part of his memory. The hysterical screams of Linda and Esme, while their husbands were taken away by the police. 

Tommy took the wheel with one hand, and lit a cigarette with the other. That small flame coming out of the lighter was the only light source in miles. And when the pitch darkness was broken, Tommy saw another ghost. One he had never seen before. He looked in the rare view mirror and he wasn’t there. For a second in his place was standing his father. Staring right back at him. 

That same person who abandoned them. That same father who came back in their lives just to make them suffer. The father who died in another continent and was forgotten mere seconds after his body was layed in the ground. 

Tommy let go of the wheel. He could not look away from those haunting eyes. The car kept going. 

_Who’s gonna save you when you crash down?_

The ash falling down from the lit cigarette burned a hole in his trousers. The burning sensation brought him back to reality. The road was taking a turn. The car was still going forward. A tree was rapidly approaching. 

_Who’s gonna save you when you crash down?_

A swift turn in the last moment and one crash was avoided. But another had already happened. Tommy stopped the car by the side of the road. He was almost home. Almost. 

_Who’s gonna save you when you crash down?_

No one. Why would anyone save him? To be honest he wouldn’t even save himself. A few years ago, he killed for his family. Now his family killed for him. He sacrificed people for the well being of his family. Now he used his family for his own well being. What an unfortunate turn of events…

Tommy had turned into the person he resented, while trying to be everything his father was not. Four people were in jail because of him and his decisions. He had sacrificed his own brothers, just like his father sacrificed them, all those years ago. The blood of innocent people was locked with their hands. Forever. 

Blood, death and the Shelbys. What an eerie constant. Some people were shaking hands with the devil. The Shelbys were embracing Death, like Thomas was embracing his nameless lovers. 

Dancing with Death herself. A slow Waltz, started in France during the Great War and continued back in England. Was that dance ever gonna end? Or was he going to trick Death just like he tricked each of his enemies.

He had sacrificed his family, but his most loyal lover hadn’t left his side. When Grace died. When Charlie was kidnapped. Just a second ago in his car. Death was always by his side. His most loyal friend, lover and an enemy…

_Who’s gonna save you when you crash down?_


End file.
